The Mouse Report — El Gringo’s Version

Hola amigos, estoy Gringo agui. I am here for to tell you my story on dis meece report. Ju know that I have been trying to help mi mamacita Barbara get rid of deese meece para many weeks now. No one else around here even tries, except the Kitty gato in the studio who doesn’t like me. I tell you thees other beeg dogs, they don’t know what is happening. Sometimes they bark when the meece make noise, but only I, El Gringo, know that it is the dam* meece! Theese stupido big perros think it is a burglar or something.

I try and I try and I try to catch the meece. Every day there are more meece more meece. They are all over mi casa. It ees too mush. They run all ober the place and they make mi casa their toilet. I sometimes see them and always I hear them and smell them. They drive me muy loco I tell you! My poor Mamacita does not know what to do. She buys all these traps that don’t work, because she has sush a beeg heart that she cannot kill the meece. She catches a few, si’, but there are always more meece. Now the meece we have are muy intelligente. Last month we catch all the stupido ones. She no catch one for maybe two weeks. No bueno por nada! Thees ees no good.

So yesterday morning we get up and I find dis meece in the conversacion peet. What ees a conversacion peet, you ask? Thees peet is a place for the dogs to go and dig up the cushions. It is mucho fun! We do thees when Mamacita ees no home. Beeecause she gets muy angry, but we know she doesn’t really mean it….Well, here is dis meece in the pit and I only do what any man would do. I know I look like one big fluff ball, but I am one berry quick Bichon. Muy Rapido! I grab that meece. It must of died of a heart attack when I caught it in my lips, because the next thing I know, the thing is muy muerto, very dead. I bring it up out the peet to show my housemates what a macho bichon I am to kill the pesty meece for my Mamacita. And then, of course, I ate it. EEEwwwwwww you say. Mamacita left the room when I got the big back teeth on the liddle thing.

Get real amigos, it was only a little nibble. When I was on my own in Mexico, I ate meece ten times this beeg. One must not leave body parts around to make a mess, ju know. I was berry clean, no blood, nothing left over for the others to fight about. Just NO MORE MOUSE! One down….

Hasta whenever….
El Gringo del Raton